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The reason I mention this is I wear for magickal reasons a bracelet. I was wearing it last night. Call it further delirium, or what you will, but I called out to it mentally and was instantly oriented. I was still on the carpet ride and absolutely terrified, but I was anchored.Eventually, I fell back to sleep. Only to have dreams where people were talking to me and I couldn’t understand them. Their voice sounded like several over laid tracks saying the same thing yet, with a watery quality. Everything else was normal. I could almost make out some of the words but not quite.-scene change-My wife and I were at some type of modern monastery doing some type of retreat and we were waiting our turn to enter our individual or joint cells that point was unclear and a guide was opening and closing the door that led to that hallway. Someone had hand written the spiritual exercises on the wall. I was thinking no thanks I have my own. (looking back it was a shame. The place was beautiful 4 star. "Sorry." It was a while ago. The thing that makes me sad is that I don't remember much about them. Sandy has almost no memory of them at all." That's a shame."I kissed his cheek. I kissed his neck. I kissed behind his ear. This had nothing to do with sex. I just wanted to be as close to him as I possibly could.He ran his hand lightly through my hair. I didn't ever want this to end.Finals were over and I loaded the car to head home. I had never felt so positive about how I had done. I had also never been so well prepared.I turned on the radio before heading to Jeff's dorm. Counting Crows was reminding me of Sam and I couldn't help but smile."Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone? They paved paradise, put up a parking lot."Was this an omen?Was paradise the girl I had been, always in control, getting whatever I set my mind to? Or was it the girl I had always been inside according to Jeff, the girl I was meant to become, the girl who had captivated.
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